One Sentence Journal #220

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So … We somehow have situation here… Nursery wants Henry to come only for an hour instead of three because he is hitting children and they need one teacher constantly paying attention to him so that other parents don’t complain. We should do it for as long as he gets better…
I have to many and strong emotions to write this post on my iPhone right now… But in essence I think they are wrong because they will not help him in that hour he will be there it’s just easier if they have to look after him for the third of the time. And the problem will not go away by itself either
All StayATHomeMums can now tap themselves on the shoulder – they’ve done the right thing and it’s all my fault
And then there’s George who needs attention and love too and can end up with some sort of a problem too…

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5 thoughts on “One Sentence Journal #220

  1. NO, No. No !! Not all your fault!! Directives need to be repeated 1million times b4 they may be listened to. You are so smart & innovative ~you will figure out a solution to this or else he will just grow out of it!! Hang in there!!

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  2. I agree with the other commenter: It’s not your fault! Kids go through phases, “good” and “bad,” whether they have a stay-at-home mom or not.

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  3. You poor thing!
    Its true that children go through phases, home or in daycare…but if the nursery is not willing to work with you to solve the problem maybe he is better off at home with nanny or you (if that is possible, not sure of your arrangements) where he can be lovingly disciplined.
    You are the one that has to work out what is best for you and your family. But, you probably have worked this out already…working motherhood is a constant swing between feeling guilty that you are not meeting work commitments fully and feeling guilty that you are not the mother that you should be for your children. I have spent the last 3.5 years studying full time and while I don’t regret it, as I am nearly qualified as a teacher and can begin work from 2013, I do wonder why we feel so much pressure from ourselves and society to perform and ‘do’ stuff and be financially productive? My children are both at school now (5 and 8) and those precious early years are gone. In a blink of an eye.
    Hang in there! Don’t take Henry’s behaviour personally, it is a reflection of his age and not his parenting! But also, don’t be afraid to really take stock of family/life balance before the preschool years are whisked away from you. xx

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  4. Megan already has, and Janine probably will have something very helpful for you to work on Anastasia.
    However, my feeling is that Henry is reacting to all the many changes he is experiencing of late… and he’s showing it in anger/fear ( closely aligned) . We had a wee girl at our childcare centre that booted the doors and yelled blue murder every time her Mum left her. But within 3 weeks she was settled and wonderful. My experience has been that NO child has been unsettled for longer than 3 weeks if staff are working with the parents and are firm but loving..
    Henry is Scared cos his world is changing. He will need to work up the trust that you and his Dad and Olga, etc ARE coming back each time. Each day that passes will help him to do this.
    BUT I do have reservations about the childcare centre Henry is in. He is obviously feeling overwhelmed and needs lots of one-on-one and tender care by the teachers & I’m not hearing that coming through. ( I may be wrong)
    Can you ask your friends and colleagues for a recommendation to a Great daycare? Then, if you do swap him, go and have a long meeting with the staff to work out some strategies and share your true feelings about HIS needs, before he starts .It’s a shame that Olga can’t stay with him for a day or two..but then what would she do with George.( In our centre we would have let Olga AND George stay) .Please don’t feel bad about yourself Anastasia..you remember that Henry was already starting this behaviour in England BEFORE you started work..so it’s not linked so much with that, as with lots of change which he is finding it hard to deal with. My 10year old granddaughter STILL cannot cope with change and plays up at school for a time until she gets used to the change. ( relieving teacher; new class, etc etc.) Remember ” this too shall pass”.. It WILL but it’s not an easy road.
    If he is well settled in a new Centre Before his new Nanny starts, that will be such a relief for you. But if not – then just let him stay home until he has gotten used to his new surroundings, even for the rest of the year. He is only 2. You can probably find a playgroup that Mums/ Nanny’s and kids attend TOGETHER, for the next few months. I hope this is of some help to you all. My heart goes out to you as you try to work it all out AND start a new job with all THAT entails. But I have every faith that you WILL work it all out as a family unit. Much love. Colleen. xx

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    1. Thank you for all the comments!
      Just wanted to mention that most if the time it’s not aggression when he hits – it’s excitement! He gets overwhelmed with an emotion, very often with joy or amazement, and then he hugs, and a hug turns into a tackle or he pushes a kid away but does it too vigorously. That’s why playing with older kids is so much better- he is not strong enough to push them over or to hurt them and they don’t get upset either…

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